okay pat passed out under dana's car
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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