Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
