I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
