So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
