He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
