Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
