i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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