dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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