I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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