TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
