you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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