..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love having hate sex.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
