I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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