I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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