so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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