I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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