I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
