Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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