Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
