I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
