I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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