The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
