I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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