this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize