he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
