so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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