you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
