i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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