Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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