clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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