I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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