I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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