we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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