If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
