It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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