guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
