her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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