How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
