i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
