Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
