toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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