New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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