1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
whose ass print is on the piano?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
