We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
