I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
