You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
