I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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