He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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