She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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