I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
